USA 2011 Part 1.0 -- The Journey

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(Images are of absymal quality because 1) they're taken in low-light conditions via my iPhone, and they more often than not don't turn out good 2) I was too lazy to take out my digital camera. 3) It would be weird taking pictures of food in the plane when a stranger is sitting right beside me (had to ninja mode w/ my phone))


Iiiii have never been on a flight that lasted more than 8 hours so naturally for this trip I was getting my ass (literally) ready for its imminent predicament.

Fortunately for me, the flight to the states was split into two with the first being a transit at Japan and then to Atlanta after which we would take another domestic flight to the destination state.

Unfortunately for me, it was a morning flight so I didn't really sleep the night before. Only for about 2 hours until 1am.

I should have woken up by 1am but I didn't until 20 minutes later so I had to turn on my ninja mode and got changed within less than 5 minutes. This is what joining a uniformed group as your CCA in secondary school does to your sad miserable life. 



Me looking very attractive at the airport in the morning. What... a turn on.





Sitting on Delta once again!



All 3 boarding passes

The trip to Tokyo took about 6 hours and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would, and of course I am talking about my butt.

Eva and I were assigned seats to the last row which, correct me if I'm wrong, is mainly reserved for people with special needs? How lovely. The seats don't even recline all the way back! It only reclines like 10 degrees. Plus it's my first time sitting on an aisle seat that is not on a budget plane.

The air vents were also so cold that I had a flu for the 2 international flights! I have never felt more horrible while travelling.



Omelette with roasted potatoes, a lonesome cherry tomato and ham which does not even look remotely like it. Don't you like how disgusting the omelette looks? It's actually pretty nice, although it doesn't seem to taste like egg. Hmmm... ;)

I have to express my love for the bun to the side because it was pleasantly filled with chocolate chips! I thought they were raisins, and I bet you did too. Bitch.

I also watched Horrible Bosses on the plane which is bloody hilarious and I feel like I have something in common with Julia (Jennifer Aniston) in the movie in which we are both extremely horny people. Anyway...



At the transit in Tokyo's Narita Airport

Upon reaching Tokyo we only had one thing in our mind which is McDonald's. Why? First of all we wanted to prep ourselves before entering obese land. Secondly, WE MISS MCPORK SO MUCH!!!



AHHHHHHHHH

It's nice that we are able to meet again, McPork. It's been a long, 2 years since I last sank my crooked teeth into your sweet, succulent meat. Now my teeth are straight.



The customs when going to the US are a real bitch because first of all, it is compulsory to take off your shoes when they are scanning your belongings. How annoying! It's already bad enough you have to take off your belt, and I was wearing loose jeans too.

Also, I was engaged in the infamous PATDOWN!!! I think my belt made the metal detector go off when I walked past because I was too lazy to take it out.

The officer was really nice though so I didn't feel sexually violated. (This thus makes me 1000x more vulnerable to rape right now) He didn't really touch my penis, kinda just went above it at the groin area. No, I was not turned on. Ahem.

I thus conclude that it was not worth the hype! I was expecting things to get more intense... more hot... more steamy... OK WHAT.




The next flight to Atlanta took a whopping 11.5 hours which is shorter than what I had anticipated (13 hours) but terrifying nonetheless.

We were seated at the last row again in the aisle and this time joined by an American lady who, as I eavesdropped on her conversation with an air stewardess because it's the most classy thing to do, is apparently some big shot who knows a lot about airplanes.


I watched both Harry Potter movies for Deathly Hallows again and I also watched Insidious which was way better than I expected! It's so scary, I loike.




Chicken pasta which sucked hard






One thing I've ALWAYS *ahem* liked about Delta is how unpredictable their flight attendants are.

The batch of flight attendants you get for each flight is almost as if it's decided by throwing a coin. One side you get the bitches and the other you get the lovely angels. 

For this flight unfortunately we got people with bitch faces. Either that or they distance themselves from you because you're Asian. Paranoid? I don't think so!!!

Anyway during my flight to Atlanta, I realised I took the wrong immigration form. So I called for an attendant and asked in these very words: "Hi, can I have two of these? *points to correct form I'm holding from Eva's mother*" in the best, natural American accent I could muster.

She seemed a little bewildered at first but after that I repeated myself and she got it. Then she came back with the correct form. Marvellous. Took a look at it.

IT WAS IN JAPANESE.



OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

The good news is I look Japanese. The bad news is I didn't understand a single shit. Fortunately enough we had an English copy so we were able to do it anyway.

HOW DARE SHE ASSUME THAT THE 16TH BEST SPEAKER IN THE WHOLE OF SINGAPORE FOR THE SINGAPORE SECONDARY SCHOOLS DEBATING CHAMPIONSHIPS DIVISION III IS JAPANESE EVEN THOUGH HE SPOKE IN CLEAR ENGLISH HUH HUH HUH /Ishallstopshowingoffnow /thoughImayormaynothavebeenshowingoffintentionally

Like Mitchell in one of the episodes in Season 1 of Modern Family, "SHAME!"




A mid-flight snack. A little crossoint with fresh fruit and amazing chocolate chip cookies.



And another meal (goodness gracious).  The eggs were horrible but the pork sausage was delish. There was also fresh fruit, orange juice and bread and butter.

In other news about the flight en route to Atlanta, I also took a shit which of course always feels great.

Unfortunately I made a real mess in the toilet because I washed my face and there was a lot of water on the ground. The worst part is that somebody was waiting to get into the toilet immediately after I finished, so they would know it's that fat, Asian asshole who messed up.



We left the house at 2:30AM (17 Nov) and when we reached Tokyo, it was 1:30PM (17 Nov) Tokyo time, after which we boarded the plane to Atlanta at 3:25PM (17 Nov), and arrived at Atlanta on 17 November, 1:15PM. And they said time travelling is impossible. Suckaaaas.


All these time zone differences did fuck my senses though. They just kept shoving food down our throats in the planes that I couldn't even tell if they were serving breakfast, lunch or dinner.

When we left the aircraft an air stewardess even said "Enjoy your evening!" happily when it's still broad daylight outside which just confused me even further.

Of course, you know you are in America when the FIRST THING you hear is 2 black girls discussing about their weaves, guuuuuurrrrl!

There are so many fat people around that it makes me look like I voms my noms all the time. (which may or may not be true) Lovezxzsx it! Everyone is so hospitable though, which is of course, just like me. Hospitable. AHEM.



This is the view from our hotel room, at the Doubletree by Hilton. The tree double at where, I also dunno.

And if you want to hear something spooky in the puki,



This government building, according to this TV show we were watching just right then, is haunted. The two founders of the building had a conflict over something, and when they died, both of their graves were put side by side there.

It's rumoured that you can hear the two of them still quarreling in the middle of the night! ooooOOOOoooOOOooooOOOOoo. What pussies.

And I love the hotel so fucking much. For every new guest they each get one of their special chocolate chip cookie, which may I just say is absofuckinglutely delicious.

As the jetlag settles in we all went to rest early to prepare ourselves for the next day where we would officially start our sojourn... in Nashville. JENG JENG JEEEEEEEENG



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